a little gift

Nov 26, 20238 min read

Updated: Nov 27, 2023

(Original Post - December 2015)

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

For some.

For some, it's a joyous season filled with merriment, an overabundance of food and drink, more gifts than can possibly fit under the tree, and wonderful time spent with family and friends, as we look back on the year that was and look forward to the year to come.

For others, it's a time that is fraught with stress, anxiety and, all too often, the realization that they are not able to live up to the expectations and demands that are placed on them at this most festive time of year. Here in Newfoundland and Labrador, we are known for generosity, compassion and our sense of community. This time of year, more than any other time, we see the spirit of giving; the Salvation Army kettles, the food bank contributions and turkey drives, and the many, many gifts that the Happy Tree so gratefully accepts into his bountiful boughs are all testament to the fact that we recognize the need to help, and we do so enthusiastically. But sometimes the true meaning of the season gets lost, or at least misplaced amongst the mountains of gift wrapping paper that may grow high enough to bury several small children and a sectional sofa.

This of course is not a new idea or profound insight. In fact, every second Christmas movie on the W Network this month will depict some variation of this theme. We all know the true meaning of Christmas. We do. But sometimes, it's wrapped so tightly and thoroughly and with so much scotch tape that opening it up takes a little more effort.

The impetus for this blog post was, as is usually the case, a conversation with a kid. I was chatting with a child as we both walked down the same hallway at school. Just small talk, which in December is invariably Christmas talk.

'Are you excited about Christmas?' I ask him.

'Oh yeah! Only 10 more sleeps til Santa comes,' he replies.

'Right on. Are you asking him for anything special this year?'

'Yup. Five big things!'

'Oh yeah? What things?'

'I don't know.'

Me, slightly confused: 'Oh. Well, what did you ask for?'

'Five big things.'

'But you don't know what they are?'

'No.'

'Is there anything you really want? Some toy you don't have?'

He shrugs his shoulders. 'I don't know. Can't really think of anything.'

Two days later, I'm speaking to one of the teacher's at my school while we're on supervision duty. She tells me she's been speaking with the mother of one of her students. Things have been a bit rough for this mother and her kids, and the extra expenses of Christmas have made for challenging times. The teacher tells me that the mother said 'There won't be much under the tree this year, just something small'. The part that warms and breaks the heart simultaneously is that the mother continues by saying, 'Even though it's small, he'll appreciate it.'

I imagine a January conversation involving these two children, as the kids return to school and share and compare stories and memories of their Christmas holiday. Five big things. One small thing.

Gifts, and the very act of giving, are gestures we make because people will appreciate the thought, but we also give because we want people to know we appreciate them. Yet, how many of us have said to a significant other at some point, "Do we get a gift for (insert name of acquaintance here)?" "Yes, she got us something last year, so we need to get her something." It's all too common now. We give gifts because we need to, not because we want to. And gifts are more often than not comprised of things we want, not the things we need. Many of us are fortunate enough that we truly don't need anything. Like many people, I'm very much conflicted by how commercial Christmas has become, and how the focus is too often on the 'stuff'. What if we all created a list of gifts that, when given, had a much more far reaching effect than the ones we generally give?

At my house, we've received a few of those 'annual Christmas letters', where people describe their year and outline the accomplishments, adventures and adversities they've faced. A few people have asked me in the past if I ever considered writing one. The answer has always been no; and besides, Facebook seems to be the perpetual letter we write to family and friends (and quasi-strangers) regarding the goings-on in our lives, so is there really a point?

Maybe. Maybe not. But it could be a bit of fun. And when you think about, what goes better with a glass of ‘nog than a bit of old-fashioned letter writing? It might not be the most traditional of letters, but let's have a go at it regardless...

Dear Everyone,

Our family is happy and doing well. We have a house filled with laughter, love and music. The kids drive us nuts and make our world magical at the same time. My beard is a little greyer. The cat is still a friggin' nuisance, but the kids love her. Come by some weekend so we can catch up. The kids generally initiate a dance party on Friday evenings. We're partial to merlot.

In the meantime, I've got a favor to ask of you. Actually, twelve of them. In the place of the lovely kitchenware or singing ornament that you were planning on sending our way, please consider the following gift options. It would mean a lot to us, and to others as well.

January - Give Blood. The need is always there. This is perhaps one of the most incredible gifts that you can give another person. The fact that you never know who you are helping makes it even more meaningful. It could be the victim of a car crash, someone who's having heart surgery, or a person going through the ordeal of leukemia or cancer treatment. It takes less than an hour, and literally saves lives.

February - Home For Dinner (Ronald McDonald House) Several of us on my staff are arranging to partake in this program in the new year. Ronald McDonald House offers a program - Home For Dinner - where small groups can go into the House and make dinner for families with sick children who are currently staying at the house. One can only imagine the hardship of not only having a sick child, but also being away from home for extended periods. The last thing a parent wants to think about is what they have to make for dinner. Contact your local Ronald McDonald House, and ask for details. I've spoken with several people who've said that the experience is just incredible. As well, these Houses have Wish Lists that you might want to contribute to as well. See here for details.

March - The Food Bank While we often give to local food banks around Thanksgiving and Christmas, keep in mind, people are hungry in other months too. There are lots of stats that serve as food for thought; for example, 40% of the 27,000 people using food banks in our province are children. Go through your cupboard, or pick up an extra bag the next time you hit your local grocery store, and drop it off with the Community Food Sharing Association.

April - Take Care Of Someone Else's Kid(s) Yeah, we're all busy. Lots to do, too many places to go, and not enough time to get there. We all know people who are so busy, they never take time for themselves, because they just can't. This month, take care of the kids of a friend or relative for an afternoon. Volunteer to watch a friend's baby so they can go run some errands without having to carry a small human while they do so. Plan some craft activities or games, and bring the neighbor's kids over for a couple of hours. A small gesture, but those few hours can mean so much to a person who needs them.

May - Clean Up Your Neighborhood I know that a lot of towns and cities organize a day that this can be done. Look into it, or organize it yourself. When the winter snow has melted away, a season's worth of trash and filth is left lying around our community. Be sure to join in the clean-up; it makes everyone feel better. It's amazing to see the pride in the face of a child who's picked up a bagful of garbage.

June - Pass Along a Great Book Many of us love a good summer read (or several). And many of us have a book or two that mean a lot to us; a book that has really affected us in some way. Pick one of these books, and pass it along to a fitting person. A few years ago, I gave a copy of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree to someone who epitomized this tree. I once received a copy of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead in the mail from a dear friend. Doesn't have to be new, you can take it off your shelf. But make an effort to find a good fit for the book/recipient.

July - Help The Animal Shelter If you know me, you probably know that I'm not really a pet person. Our cat Ruffles responds to the name 'Nuisance', because that's pretty much all I call her. "Good morning Nuisance, I'm drinking my coffee. Go away." However, I can see how people like my kids completely fall in love with these small beasts, and there are organizations out there that are doing a lot of good work to help some helpless little critters. Pick up a bag of cat or dog food, and drop it off at a local animal shelter/humane society. Nuisance thanks you.

August - Make Personalized Cards If you know someone celebrating a birthday, anniversary or gastric bypass surgery in August, make them a personalized card. I've done this many times, and it's always a good bit of fun. No fancy artwork needed; a childlike doodle of the person/situation will suffice. I guarantee that it's a million times more likely than a standard Hallmark card to be cherished and kept forever.

September - A Month of Compliments The end of summer can be a bit of a downer. In September, see if you can give at least one person a genuine compliment at least once a day. Compliments are interesting, as they can be a fleeting comment someone throws your way as you pass in a corridor that completely transforms your day. When you compliment someone, the smile you get in return is a great reward. Can't remember the quote, but there's an old saying that goes something like "You can't shine a light on another person without brightening your own path as well." That's the power of a compliment.

October - Clean Out Your Closet Many of us have lots of clothing that rarely, if ever, gets worn. This month, take some time to gut out the old wardrobe and donate some clothing to the local organizations that take them. Particularly, look for old winter coats that would benefit a child who needs it. The Coats for Kids program is so important, and for many families, it ensures that their little ones will be warm through the winter. At our school this year alone, we collected 296 coats for kids. It warms the heart.

November - Make It A Double Our kids love to help with baking projects. Flour goes everywhere, chocolate chips go missing, and it's always fun. Do up a batch of cookies or cupcakes (or whatever) this month, but double the batch. Take the second batch to someone who could use a little pick-me-up. Maybe you've got a friend who recently experienced a loss. It's very likely that a couple of little kids showing up on their doorstep with cookies will brighten their day.

December - The Happy Tree With this monthly list, I've tried to focus on things that are free or inexpensive; gifts that come from the heart. But we all know that everyone likes to see something under the tree. If you're fortunate enough to have the means to do so, pick up a gift and donate it to the Happy Tree, so every child will wake up on the 25th and open up a gift that was bought with love, even though, like giving blood, the giver/recipient will never be known to each other.

So that's it. While things continue to go well, we know there'll be bumps in the road. But hopefully, this road ahead of us will be long and winding, and full of gifts that we forever appreciate, because every day of every month has the potential to be the most wonderful time of the year.

Seasons Greetings,

The Lynch Family